| Monday, 21 March 2011 |
|
gosh..i nvr thought i would miss chern ern so muchD: 3 more daysD: *sobsob* i miss her uhD: well actually i dont only miss her.. just that i miss her moreD: you know i'm the kind that wont forget promises so easily. and i strongly dislike ppl who say things they dont mean.. i was wondering..if he meant it.. does he really ____ __? is there a ____ _____ __ ___ ____ ____ ___ __? truth is..no matter which guy.. i will never be able to get together with any of them.. i finally understand after such a long time.. school is starting soon anyway. i hope i can fit in:/ but uhwells at least i found someone in the same poly and same block as me[: cant wait for chern ern to come back=x i got so much to rant to her! no one to talk to for 1 weekD: CHERN ERN uh! faster come back uh! i want to bleah so much to youD: |
| Thursday, 17 March 2011 |
|
this feels terrible..really terrible. sometimes i dont even understand why i check my phone several times a day. it wont buzz anymore.. so why am i doing it? i dont understand. but it feels terrible. my cousin is getting a divorce. after 9 years..cause her husband is having an affair. if i were to see that idiot some day..i dont think i can stop myself from hitting him. i'm utterly disgusted. after clearing my ahgong's stuff suddenly it got me thinking.. thinking of how my ahgong would have felt 24 years ago when my ahma left him. he spent this 24 years alone and nvr once mentioned her. he kept so much things that could easily remind him of her and yet.. he hasnt mentioned her once. what's love? what's that thing that cause ppl unable to let go of someone? what's that thing that cause someone to be important to be another? love is something that cant be explained. is that it? is that all? i want to make a promise. i never want to fall in love again. after today i dont want to have to hide somewhere to cry in pain because i cant tell anyone the pain im feeling. after today i never want to cry while loving being the main reason of my tears. after today i should only think about how to study harder..and get a place into uni. after this..i should never fall in love again. |
| Thursday, 17 February 2011 |
|
i hate it when someone's reaction/action/emotion affects me. i told myself not to care but guess i really cant help it. yea i may be sronger than some others.. but i guess there is time where i need to breakdown to breathe. well sometimes you get some and you lose some. i just hate how some ppl dont know wtf you're going through and yet they comment so much. for what do you become a bitch. for how you defend yourself you become a bitch. for what you do to vent your frustration you become a bitch. you know sth?dont judge me. i hate that.just as much as how you hate it when ppl judge you. he's a good guy.i know. i sldnt hurt him.i know. i shld have thought of how hurt he would be when he saw that.i know. but you know? did he ever thought of what i will feel when i see what he posted? how he promised to leave me alone for the time being. if you promised sth why shld you be upset. and even if you are why do you post it? did you see me posting stuff like that there? you dont start judging me and say that i hurt him first. you dont even know what the fuck happened. right you always understand him and take side with him. cause you claim you are just like him. big deal?i'm just like that someone else but i didnt side him.remember? first when me and annabel quarrelled you sided her and didnt ask for story from my side. then when me and him got together you went around complaining that i'm just playing him. then now you come judge me. like FUCK YOU. opps sry very long nvr use f word but i guess i gotta use it. cause you used it to scold me.twice. so i'm returning it to you. i dont usually use it but well.. you know for the past 16 years 3 months and 19 days i have nvr knew that i was born a bitch. but whatever..everyone is a bitch or a bastard at times..i guess i can accept that. look i know you stopped scolding me on fb. but that was all because he told you to. it's stupid.so what?you arent happy with me anyway. you wanna continue scolding me there i wouldnt give a damn anyway. but i swear if you start spreading rumours about this when you dont know the full story then i wouldnt fucking care if you learn boxing or not. cause nth gets near me when i'm this mad. sometimes i regret siding you during quarrels cause i dont think the way you treat me behind my back deserves my help. there's a limit to my tolerance..and this is the limit. |
| Thursday, 10 February 2011 |
|
hmm back to blogging[: it's time i set things right. look he typed that on facebook. look how many ppl commented there. i nvr once complained about anything on facebook did i? i posted sth on bel's wall because i was mad. you have a problem with that? nobody ask you to look right? hey guess what.if i'm a bitch then you are one too. you know.if you had the guts, you would have say whatever you want in my face right? know sth?i had enough. you want to know what i'm like truely? you want to see what i can do? you can watch. i'm turning my back against everything from now on. i dont want to care about anything anymore. i looked back everytime..i couldnt let go of anything. not anymore.i'm gonna be who i use to be. smiley, cheery.that's how i am. no point changing for anyone[: so long ppl[: i'l blog again soon[: |
| Tuesday, 18 January 2011 |
|
i cant go outD: its boring to stay at home. nth is going right..sth tells me 2011 isnt gonna be good. i tried.i really did.. but somehow everything seems to be crashing down. i told myself that everything will be okay soon. i hope it will be that way. i need to go out soonD: it feels awfulD: i had a nightmare..i lost you...will you be back? will this be over? no matter how hard stuff get..i just need you by my side. the stakes went too high and i waited too long. will you be back? |
| Thursday, 13 January 2011 |
|
i'm here to revive my blog:D hehe=x but idk what to write=x i hope i can get into my biomedical science course in np=x haisD: all my english result's faultD: uhwells.i'm having a terrible headache nowD: it feels weird. i went to read my past blog post..it sort of got me thinking. i miss c11D: eh die luh i really dk what to write sia! got to thank ppl i have been talking to recently:D they cheered me up a lot:D the babes like abigail,donna and regina and the dudes like yeow boon and malvick:D oh yea that day brennan,malvick,regina and yeow boon came over to my house:D we played monopoly:D damn funny[: come again okay?:D next time abi and donna should come too:D let's ask ben along too=x that dude start school ler siaD: no more time for us ler>< hehe=x kidding=x i keep telling myself that everything will be alright..that in no time i'll forget you. maybe i shld stop lying to myself. i'm missing someone i shldnt be.but i cant help it. you already moved on with life.leaving me thinking of the memories you left behind. you forgotten about them..i'm just a little too not over you. |
| Monday, 8 November 2010 |
|
hi people:D yay:D we are all left with mcqs:D i meant most of us=x oh yea happy birthday ethan ruan jing tian<3 guess that's the only way i can wish him for nowD: i want to see him somedayD: my favourite taiwanese actor:D alrights shall go slack again[: any videos to recommend?=x buhbye people:D |
| Sunday, 7 November 2010 |
|
woohoos:D long time no see:D yay i'm left with 3 more papers[: actually its 3 more sub papers=x i've no more mood to studyD: my brain is like bursting alrD: too much things in my brainD: but uhwells after this week its partey:D camp,chalet,gatherings here i come:D oh and most importantly celebrate 1st year with dear<3 buhbye ppl:D |
| Thursday, 22 April 2010 |
|
second time i cried this year.. it felt worst than how it use to feel. at least i was numbed last last year. i dont know what brought me so down these days. probably because i was so afraid of my every move. forget it.plainly forget it. i'm tired enough. stop thinking brain stop thinking. |
